Don't Trust Ariana Grande with Your Keys

Late last summer one of the sci-fi blogs I regularly read posted a link to a new music video for the song Break Free. They said that it followed in a long tradition of music videos where the video has absolutely nothing to do with the song (how wrong they are!). But it is sci-fi in the tradition of cheesy old movies like Barbarella and Flash Gordon.

Colors while it burns your face off!

While I'd never heard of Ariana Grande (not to be confused with a "Grande Ariana," which is a 16oz. white chocolate and cherry flavored latte with two shots of espresso and a distinct lack of talent that I just made up), I do like Zedd. For a DJ not named Tiesto or van Buuren, he's not half bad. Also, he kinda looks like my cousin Josh, and who doesn't dream of a having a family member become an electronic music superstar? Just me? Okay, moving on...

A Spirulina Experience

On Halloween my overly kind little sister bought me an expensive bottle of spirulina powder. As far as tricks and treats go, spirulina is not a treat. Not even close. But I asked for it, so I guess no one was tricking me but myself. As I mentioned in my smoothie post, I first heard about spirulina in an article from Men's Fitness. In addition to being a good source of protein, B vitamins and iron, WebMD says the algae is used to treat... well, just about everything.

Yeah. You read that right. Algae. Most sane people don't ingest algae unless they're drowning in a lake.

"If only Hamlet would take me to Whole Foods."

Sonic Highways - A Review

My first year of college I was still living at home and commuting twenty minutes to the little Christian college on the west side of town. In order to make it to my 8am class, I'd have to get up early and gobble down a bowl of cold Mini-Wheats before jumping into my smelly old 1983 Buick LeSabre. The car was a boat with a tricky carburetor and rear wheel drive, and on really cold mornings it didn't even start to get warm until about the time I pulled into the school parking lot.

It Was Cool inCARnate 

Burpee Blast

Tuesday night I did 60 burpees. If you know what a burpee is, you probably think I'm an idiot. If you don't know what a burpee is, you still probably think I'm not that bright, but for totally different reasons. Anyway, for the uninformed, here's a gif (pronounced gah-if, and not like the peanut butter) I found.

AKA, how to swim on cement

Why So Furious?

I honestly thought that the highlight of my Saturday was going to be the premiere of the new Fast & Furious trailer. But then I got a message from a friend, whom I haven't heard from in awhile and... well, it's really, really close. As soon as I could, I shared the video on my Facebook page with the caption, "My other favorite superhero franchise."

Justin Lin will make you believe a man can fly

What is it about this franchise (which gave us one of the greatest exchanges in cinema history: "How did you know there'd be a car there to break our fall?" "I took a leap of faith.") that keeps people coming back for more? According to Box Office Mojo, the sixth installment made $97,375,245 in its first weekend. Think about that for a moment. Not counting science fiction or horror series, how many movies have gotten five sequels? And still made money? Rocky Balboa, the sixth movie in that series, only made $70,270,943 total.

Three Reasons Why I'm Choosing Body Weight Fitness

While adjusting to a new job, with a new schedule and new sleep patterns (and actually being able to sleep again!), I haven't been getting all the exercise I want. Do I get up early and knock it out first thing? Do I follow recommended guidelines and work out in the early afternoon? Or do I make myself do it after I get home from work at 10 o'clock at night? There are pros and cons to all of those, and I confess that I'm still weighing them.

But enough with my excuses. I know what I want to do, and how I'm going to do it, even if I'm still figuring out when.

The deciding factor for me when choosing any sort of lifestyle change is, "Does this make sense to me?" With something as controversial as fitness, all I can do is look at the arguments and decide what seems most logical as I understand it. What makes sense to me might not make sense to you. And as long as we aren't doing ourselves great bodily harm, I think that's okay. I figure I'm more apt to stick with whatever I believe in most and enjoy. That might be different for you, and since we aren't arguing moral issues, I think there's room for personal preference.

I've chosen body weight fitness, and here are three reasons why.

1) Your Body Is Always with You

The Tao of Buckaroo Banzai

I don't want to have to go somewhere and pay to do something I can accomplish for free at home. Or in a motel. Or at a park. Going to the gym just sounds like an extra hassle, and thus a convenient excuse. But more than that, why rely on extra equipment when I don't need it? That's not to say that I won't occasionally use equipment, but I want to know how to use my body first and foremost.

Lost Princesses and Atheistic Gods

Warbreaker was my first foray into Brandon Sander's adult work, and even though I enjoyed his YA fiction, I approached his high fantasy novel with low expectations. In my very limited experience, when it comes to medieval style world-building, Tolkien did it first, best, and everything that's followed has been a poor imitation. Even the contemporary fantasy writers who do their research (i.e.: George R.R. Martin) lose me with their nihilism. The real world, which is bad enough, isn't as bad as Westeros. Sanderson himself sounds like something of a one-man book factory, so I alreayd had some trouble respecting him. But since he is so popular, I figured that I should give him a shot.

Power Smoothie

Before we get started, keep in mind that I'm just a guy with a blog. I'm not a doctor, a nutritionist, physical trainer, or expert in anything other than classic television. As such, these statements have not been approved by the FDA, the APA, the MLA, or even the RCA. Consult a doctor before doing anything crazy, and if you do hurt yourself don't say that I didn't warn you.

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I used to make this killer breakfast sandwich with bacon fried eggs, bacon fried buttered bread and cheese, bacon fried bacon, and a side of bacon fried potatoes. It was awesome. Unfortunately, that doesn't really fit in with my health goals right now. Last summer I started concocting a breakfast smoothie that's a little more helpful and healthful.

Men's Fitness magazine recently posted on article on The Top 10 Smoothie Ingredients for Guys. I'm pleased to say that half of those were already part of my smoothie (plus a few other things), and since reading the article I've added more. Note, they never suggest putting everything in a single smoothie, but I don't think it tastes so bad.



Even though it's not on Men's Fitness's list, I put oatmeal in my smoothies. I use about half a cup of uncooked old fashioned oats. Grinding it up into a powder probably robs it some of its stick-to-your-ribness, but it's still good fiber and protein.

Next, I add milk. Yeah, I wish it was a milk substitute like almond or coconut milk, but moo milk is cheaper. Lately I've been using 2% because it's actually supposed to be better for your cholesterol than skim. My doctor tells me I have a genetic disposition toward high cholesterol, so I don't take as many chances anymore.

We're supposed to get something like two cups of fresh vegetables every day. I figure starting first thing makes getting that much more likely to happen. Believe it or not, getting vegetables at breakfast isn't that difficult. It is weird, though. Once I throw a handful of spinach into the blender, I try to forget it's there and just enjoy its Popeye powers.

I mean, who wouldn't want to look like this?

Once upon a time, I hurt a girl's feelings by declining a banana smoothie. I really liked her, but I disliked bananas more. Things never were the same between us. Now she's happily married, and I shed tears of regret as I choke down half a banana in my penance smoothie every morning. The other half I eat, because it'd be shameful not to. Mashed bananas also add a nice texture, and of course, a good amount of potassium.

Protein powder can be something of a controversial topic. I use whey protein because I've seen more arguments for it than against it. Vanilla is a good flavor, because it mixes well with just about anything (including baking cocoa for tasty post-workout smoothies).

Finally, I add cinnamon (blood sugar balancer, nice spice, and appetite suppressant), blueberries and raspberries (reputed power foods that help to mask the banana and spinach flavor), and chia seeds. The raspberries are especially important, as they turn the green sludge pink letting me know when everything is completely blended. Chia seeds are also pretty cool. Not only do they expand after eating them to keep you feeling fuller longer, they're also packed with all kinds of nutrients.

Someday I really want to try spirulina. It's a powdered algae that supposedly tastes absolutely horrifying. So it must be good for you.

What do you eat for breakfast? Also, what's the most unusual thing you've put in a smoothie?

Paper Airplanes and Elegant Art

Have you seen Paperman? If not, stop whatever you're doing right now, go get the Wreck it Ralph DVD, skip the meh movie, and watch the short in the special features. I'll wait.

Back already? Watched it? Yeah, I don't believe you. Fortunately, there's a summary below.

In 2012 Paperman was the first Disney short to win an Academy Award in over 40 years. While I don't usually pay attention to award nominees, particularly in the smaller categories, for some reason I clicked on the video and fell in love. Paperman is storytelling at its most elegant.

Elegance personified

The Project

By now, most of you know that I’ve left my full-time job in favor of a part-time position with a different company. The reduced responsibilities and corresponding reduction of stress will hopefully allow me to do some things that are important to me. I didn’t leave Grand Rapids to be a frazzled e-commerce specialist or part-time team member at a supermarket. I came home to be an encouragement to my family, to support them as we all go through a difficult time of transition, and to hopefully find myself in the process. Those objectives were not possible while I was overwhelmed by my job.

Perhaps it’s because I’m male, but I wrap up most of my identity in how I earn my paycheck. In college, I wasn’t a student, I was a snow crew worker. Since college I’ve written a novel, published a novella, and seen one of my short screenplays produced. But they didn’t pay much, if anything, so I’ve continued to think of myself as a bookstore assistant manager, library shelver, switchboard operator, and so on.

Click the Cover to Buy My Book

I’ll be honest, I live for instant gratification. It’s not that I’m lazy; I’ll put my whole heart into whatever is expected of me (sometimes to my detriment). But that level of commitment only shows up if I know I’m getting paid for showing up. There are no financial guarantees when we follow our dreams. But if we don’t try, we’ll never know.  

Anyone who knows me, knows that I’ve always wanted to make my living through my words. Realistically, the odds of getting stuck by lightning are better. Doesn’t matter. “Making a living” can mean more than getting money. I’ll pay my bills working in retail if I must, but I’d rather get my living in through my writing.

To that end, you should see more activity on my blog. Drawing inspiration from other bloggers, I’ll try to post two or three times a week. Tuesdays I’ll talk about a book, movie, TV show, or album I’m particularly enjoying. Thursdays I’ll write about my journey into better nutrition and bodyweight fitness. As the creative juices get flowing, I’ll probably tweak the content on the site, updating more often or adding a new topic.

How long will this go on? As long as I know people are enjoying my work.

10 Books That Have Influenced My Life

When I saw that I had been tagged in some sort of Facebook challenge, at first I assumed that a bucket of ice water would be required. Then I was relieved to see that the challenge involved books, and not dumping them on my head. The challenge was to list ten books that have influenced my life. I knew that there was no way I could make such a list without explaining how they influenced me. So without further ado…

1. Shane by Jack Schaefer

This classic western about a boy’s hero worship of the gunfighter who saves his farming community from the local cattle baron has been adapted to film several times (including a sci-fi version starring Patrick Swayze!). But even the most straightforward interpretation (1953’s “Shane”) hasn't resonated with me like the novel. Shane is the archetypical western loner with no backstory, who rides in out of nowhere and goes back to wherever he came from a changed man. Yet it is his relationships with each of the three main characters that make up the heart of the novel. Reading this on the verge of adolescence, I learned about life, storytelling, and fistfights. To this day I sit with my back to the wall, facing the door, because that’s what Shane did.